>Is it me?

>I feel like I neglect myself, my husband and my kids. Clearly I am not doing something right if I am constantly listening to someone scream at me. It makes me feel like a failure. It's a crappy feeling.

This week has been a really rough week in the Ross house. Parker is cutting his second tooth and wants to be held constantly. If I put him down to play, he cries. If he goes in the swing, he cries. If he goes in the jumperoo, he jumps and then cries. If I am holding him and I sit down, he cries. He cries while he eats, when he's tired, if Conner takes a toy away, if he poops...anything. He just cries. The only time he's not crying is if he's sleeping (thank the Lord he will nap a little bit) and if I'm looking at him with goo goo eyes and talking to him. Now, Conner was not a wonderful, easy baby b/c he never slept but at least he didn't cry at me all day long. By the time Josh gets home, I'm spent. I've been listening to someone scream at me and I've had someone on my lap the entire time I've been awake. I know, I know, that's part of being a mom but it's hard.

...and then there is Conner. He's a typical 2 year old. He yells at me when I tell him no, he fights me on almost everything. When he gets spanked he yells at me in anger. I constantly take things away, fuss and fight. I feel like I do nothing but fight with him. He's so strong willed and he's smart. He can outsmart me very quickly...not that he's smarter than me but I underestimate him a lot.

I haven't cooked in a week...well, I cooked twice this week. That's very abnormal for me. Those of you that know me, know that I cook daily. We rarely go out anymore and that's fine with me. I'm not even taking care of my house. I can't, I have 2 kids that are so stinking high maintenance that I can't breathe. I walked out of the house tonight (Josh was home) and I could hear BOTH of them screaming for me. I just feel like I can't catch a break...ever. All of this stress and these emotions are making me feel like crap again. I don't know if I should talk to the dr and increase my meds or not.

maybe next week will be better? Let's hope so.