>just when I thought I felt better

>We had a mandatory baby shower at work today..ugh. Just what I wanted. To top it off, I was expressing that I really didn't want to go to the shower. One of my team mates told me to just "get over it already". WTF. I can't be a little emotional over a baby shower now. Whatever. I couldn't wait to get home to run and do some toning exercises. That helped me to feel a little better.
Josh's dinner is calling my name. Gotta go tend to that.

just when I thought I felt better

We had a mandatory baby shower at work today..ugh. Just what I wanted. To top it off, I was expressing that I really didn't want to go to the shower. One of my team mates told me to just "get over it already". WTF. I can't be a little emotional over a baby shower now. Whatever. I couldn't wait to get home to run and do some toning exercises. That helped me to feel a little better.
Josh's dinner is calling my name. Gotta go tend to that.

>Here we are again....

>Overall, I'm feeling really good. I've put on a few pounds, but nothing that a few weeks of eating the right things won't fix.

I'm in the official 2ww. It's dreadful, but I'm trying not to focus on it. I can think of tons of "symptoms", all of which are probably in my head. DH and I had a very long conversation this weekend and decided that if I'm not pregnant this cycle, we would wait until this summer to ttc again. He says that the timing is not right, but it would be OK if I were pregnant. He wants me to be due in March or April, then take the rest of the school year off and possibly another full year. If I were pregnant now, I'd be due in November. I guess we will know in about 2 weeks.


Until then, I'll wait for pounds to drop off and time to pass.

Here we are again....

Overall, I'm feeling really good. I've put on a few pounds, but nothing that a few weeks of eating the right things won't fix.

I'm in the official 2ww. It's dreadful, but I'm trying not to focus on it. I can think of tons of "symptoms", all of which are probably in my head. DH and I had a very long conversation this weekend and decided that if I'm not pregnant this cycle, we would wait until this summer to ttc again. He says that the timing is not right, but it would be OK if I were pregnant. He wants me to be due in March or April, then take the rest of the school year off and possibly another full year. If I were pregnant now, I'd be due in November. I guess we will know in about 2 weeks.


Until then, I'll wait for pounds to drop off and time to pass.

>challenge!

>1.Go to photobucket.com
2.Type in your answer for each question into the PhotoBucket search bar.
3.Only use the first two pages.Choose your favorite photo to represent your answer.
4.Copy the html and paste it here.
5.You can only answer in picture form


What is your first name?


When is your birthday?


What kind of car do you want?


Where did you go to school?


What is your favorite season?


What is your favorite type of shoe?


What is your status?


What is your favorite movie?


What is your favorite song?


Who is your favorite disney character?


What is your favorite clothing line?


What is your favorite destination? Tropical


What is your favorite dessert?


What is your favorite letter?


What are you most afriad of?


What's your favorite TV show?


What annoys you the most right now?


What is your job?


What is your favorite animal?


How old are you?

challenge!

1.Go to photobucket.com
2.Type in your answer for each question into the PhotoBucket search bar.
3.Only use the first two pages.Choose your favorite photo to represent your answer.
4.Copy the html and paste it here.
5.You can only answer in picture form


What is your first name?


When is your birthday?


What kind of car do you want?


Where did you go to school?


What is your favorite season?


What is your favorite type of shoe?


What is your status?


What is your favorite movie?


What is your favorite song?


Who is your favorite disney character?


What is your favorite clothing line?


What is your favorite destination? Tropical


What is your favorite dessert?


What is your favorite letter?


What are you most afriad of?


What's your favorite TV show?


What annoys you the most right now?


What is your job?


What is your favorite animal?


How old are you?

>the mirror

>When I look into the mirror, I don't like what I see. I see a girl with sad eyes. A girl with no glow, no motivation and a fat face. Yes, I said it, a fat face. Since my loss I have done almost nothing but eat. I've stopped working out, stopped caring. What happened to me? It hit me this morning, circumstances out of my control are just that...out of my control. I need to start focusing on things that I can control. I can control what types of food I put into my mouth. I can control how often and how much I exercise. I can not control pregnancies, losses and others. I can't control my emotions, but I can keep them in check. I can control my obsessions of things out of my control. I just need to focus that energy on something I tangible.

Yesterday for the first time in a while, I actually worked out. It was boring, I won't lie. Where is that girl that once enjoyed working out? Where is the girl that was just happy? I want her back. I keep hearing in time...how much time?

Today is a new day. I will exercise and be mindful of what I eat. Perhaps, I can make this fat new face a little slimmer.

Today is picture day. Hopefully my students will cheer me up.

the mirror

When I look into the mirror, I don't like what I see. I see a girl with sad eyes. A girl with no glow, no motivation and a fat face. Yes, I said it, a fat face. Since my loss I have done almost nothing but eat. I've stopped working out, stopped caring. What happened to me? It hit me this morning, circumstances out of my control are just that...out of my control. I need to start focusing on things that I can control. I can control what types of food I put into my mouth. I can control how often and how much I exercise. I can not control pregnancies, losses and others. I can't control my emotions, but I can keep them in check. I can control my obsessions of things out of my control. I just need to focus that energy on something I tangible.

Yesterday for the first time in a while, I actually worked out. It was boring, I won't lie. Where is that girl that once enjoyed working out? Where is the girl that was just happy? I want her back. I keep hearing in time...how much time?

Today is a new day. I will exercise and be mindful of what I eat. Perhaps, I can make this fat new face a little slimmer.

Today is picture day. Hopefully my students will cheer me up.

>Practice make perfect

>DH and I had a conversation about a week ago. We (well, he) decided that we (well, he) would relax and just see what happens. OK, relaxing is for men, not women trying to conceive. Either way the baby making process is fun. Maybe practice will make perfect!

We are going away to a mountain chalet this weekend. It will be a much needed break for the both of us. I'm very excited!

Practice make perfect

DH and I had a conversation about a week ago. We (well, he) decided that we (well, he) would relax and just see what happens. OK, relaxing is for men, not women trying to conceive. Either way the baby making process is fun. Maybe practice will make perfect!

We are going away to a mountain chalet this weekend. It will be a much needed break for the both of us. I'm very excited!

>2 Months

>Wow. 2 months has gone by since I lost my baby. Some days it feels like so long ago and some days it feels like yesterday. I've officially had my first cycle after miscarriage. That sure was a fun milestone. We can ttc again, I just don't know how active I want that to be. Part of me really wants to be pregnant again, the other part is a terrified little girl.

I don't really have a lot to say. My emotions are finally getting better and DH and I had some very candid conversations about all of this over the weekend. They pissed me off and helped me to heal more. I don't know how they did both, but I welcome the healing.

DH and I are going to the mountains this weekend, can you say hot tub and wine! I know I won't be ovulating, but it does not hurt to practice!

2 Months

Wow. 2 months has gone by since I lost my baby. Some days it feels like so long ago and some days it feels like yesterday. I've officially had my first cycle after miscarriage. That sure was a fun milestone. We can ttc again, I just don't know how active I want that to be. Part of me really wants to be pregnant again, the other part is a terrified little girl.

I don't really have a lot to say. My emotions are finally getting better and DH and I had some very candid conversations about all of this over the weekend. They pissed me off and helped me to heal more. I don't know how they did both, but I welcome the healing.

DH and I are going to the mountains this weekend, can you say hot tub and wine! I know I won't be ovulating, but it does not hurt to practice!

>Ignorance is bliss

>It's been 8 full weeks since my miscarriage was induced. The thought and memory of it is nauseating; it's exhausting. It seems so long ago, yet like yesterday. I have not reminded my husband of this, although we discussed it last night when we were talking about BFNs and cycles. He told me that I needed to call the doctor and see what they said. He knows they said by 8 weeks, my cycle should return. So, I caved. I called the doctor. I'm 14dpo no sign of either pregnancy (trust me, I've pee'd) or a cycle. I have an appointment on Tuesday. They will do a pregnancy test, I'll be able to tell them the answer. Once they see my answer, they will do an exam or bloodwork...depending on what they find. I'm going into a Friday with still nothing. I don't even know if I'm hopeful of being pregnant right now anymore. I do know that by looking at my chart, it's beautiful. I miss the ignorance I had before my miscarriage. It truly was bliss. I didn't obsess over charting or how long my cycles were, just that they were happening.

Lots of great things are going on though. My class is great! They are so entertaining and funny. I really enjoy them! I've found a new peace about my loss and that makes my days and life so much easier. I laugh again, a genuine happy laugh. I'm not so angry or jealous. I told a co-worker who is 3 months, congratulations! I really meant it. She is so cute and her little belly is precious. I didn't even get sad that it's on her and not me. Talk about peaceful healing.

To whoever told me that time heals, they were right. (Thanks, Granny)

In closing, I heard a passage of scripture on the radio yesterday. Gal 6:9 Let us not be weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we not faint. It touched me.

Ignorance is bliss

It's been 8 full weeks since my miscarriage was induced. The thought and memory of it is nauseating; it's exhausting. It seems so long ago, yet like yesterday. I have not reminded my husband of this, although we discussed it last night when we were talking about BFNs and cycles. He told me that I needed to call the doctor and see what they said. He knows they said by 8 weeks, my cycle should return. So, I caved. I called the doctor. I'm 14dpo no sign of either pregnancy (trust me, I've pee'd) or a cycle. I have an appointment on Tuesday. They will do a pregnancy test, I'll be able to tell them the answer. Once they see my answer, they will do an exam or bloodwork...depending on what they find. I'm going into a Friday with still nothing. I don't even know if I'm hopeful of being pregnant right now anymore. I do know that by looking at my chart, it's beautiful. I miss the ignorance I had before my miscarriage. It truly was bliss. I didn't obsess over charting or how long my cycles were, just that they were happening.

Lots of great things are going on though. My class is great! They are so entertaining and funny. I really enjoy them! I've found a new peace about my loss and that makes my days and life so much easier. I laugh again, a genuine happy laugh. I'm not so angry or jealous. I told a co-worker who is 3 months, congratulations! I really meant it. She is so cute and her little belly is precious. I didn't even get sad that it's on her and not me. Talk about peaceful healing.

To whoever told me that time heals, they were right. (Thanks, Granny)

In closing, I heard a passage of scripture on the radio yesterday. Gal 6:9 Let us not be weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we not faint. It touched me.