Thankful day 1 and some updates...or lack of...

Last year in November, I participated in the Thankful November on FB. This year I'm doing it but here, on my blog, where I can go back and read it,  instead of on fb. I don't need to be thankful for FB to see it, I just need to be thankful for me to see it (and the 4 readers that I have). Before I give you the 'update' from the specialist, I want to do Nov 1,2 thankful.

First and foremost I am thankful for my Lord and Savior. Even in spite of me, he still loves me and carries me when I need it. I am lifted up and have been prayed for this entire pregnancy and for that I am thankful. I am so, so thankful.

Day 2: I am thankful for Josh. Sure, we have our ups and downs but at the end of the day when our house goes quiet and the boys are still and sleeping, it's just me and him. I love him to the pits of my core and I can not imagine living this life without him helping me through. Without him, I would only be half and not whole.


Now for the (stupid) update. Every time I go to a dr, I get something different.  The ob thinks I have 2 placentas...the specialist said (last time) that I had an anterior placenta, yesterday they said I had a posterior placenta that was funual, meaning it wraps around the uterus. The dr asked if I had a c-section or d&c (seriously, is that NOT in my chart?!) and I told him I did but 5 years ago and prior to 2 babies. He said that he still thinks it's a scar tissue but that it wouldn't be from that. I'm so confused and frustrated. The tech did turn on the 4d yesterday and I will say that I think this baby is going to look like Conner. He has the same nose as both of the boys and it looks like he has Conner's mouth/lips instead of Parker's. That was a fun little moment. I just want it to be feb/march so I'm done w/pregnancy...sort of. I love feeling these teeny tiny baby kicks. It's my favorite. 

21w.

Halloween

Halloween is over and the battles for the candy have begun in our house. I have been told that candy is food. Conner was super excited about trick or treating and he had BIG plans to go through the whole neighborhood and get the most candy ever. Parker lasted our street and one other, even with the wagon. I brought him home and cooked dinner while Josh and Conner kept going. In the end, Josh had to carry Conner home. They were up late and Parker was literally bouncing and giggling until around 11. They did not sleep in this morning and Conner wet the bed twice...seriously.

 

No time...

I have zero time right now. I am in editing hell. I'm swamped with work. I'm thankful for the work but I have no time for blogging....so I stopped working for a few mintues uploaded pics of pumpkin carving and here I am.

I do have a dr appt tomorrow and will update afterward. I hope you and your family have a spooktacular Halloween. Stay safe.

Playing Catch Up

I have been MIA this week...sort of. I feel like I have been. I didn't do So What Wed (sorry, Shan) but I did update about my appt, which feels like it was LAST week and not Monday. Anyway, I have been SO busy and if you're a FB fan then you have seen everything I've been posting this week. I am very thankful for my clients but they are keeping me from my personal blog! HAHA!

On Sunday, I had a session and then met Josh and the boys at my MILs house. The word on the street was that we were going to go to the pumpkin patch 'or something'. Turns out the 'or something' was just playing w/the horses. Parker was a hott mess by the time I got there so he took a nap. Conner is starting to enjoy 'riding' the horses. They only walk w/him on there b/c I think I'd have a heart attack if one of them took off and the horse is led on a lead line. He's super cute in his helmet though.

We also got back some of our family pictures. I won't lie to you. I don't like the one of me w/the boys but I like the others and we got the gallery back and there is one that I love w/me and them so it works out. I just have to narrow it down to 5 images.

I LOVE this one and it will be BIG somewhere.

 

Halfway!

I can not believe I am halfway already. this pregnancy has started flying by (as has the rest of this year). I had my 20 week appointment and can say that I finally have answers and these answers make sense.

The specialist noted that my ob would not be doing the anatomy scan but the tech still went ahead and scanned for growth. She read parts of the report to me and the specialist was not completely honest w/me stating that he was certain it was not amniotic banding syndrome. Anyway, she did the scan and (of course) was perplexed at this band once again. After checking out the baby and he's fine she went and got the ob. In 35 seconds dr falany had determined that I have 2 placentas instead of one. The specialist told me that I had anterior placenta, which is true but the anterior placenta is considered an accessory lobe and is not attached to the baby; the posterior placenta is the one that is attached and providing nourishment. The band is a placenta band and it is connecting the top placenta to the bottom one. The blood flow to/from the cord looks good and baby is FINE in there. His heart rate was 147. The ob really thinks that I had 2 babies but that one did not attach, yielding in disappearing twin and additional placenta. We will never know for certain because I didn't have my first ultrasound until 12 weeks.  She does not want me laboring on my own. She said that she was going to have a meeting w/everyone in the office (other obs) and they would all determine if that was in fact the right decision. they would schedule my c-section for 39w and if I go into labor early, I am not to labor on my own at all. She does not want me to end up w/an emergency c-section. The reason for the section would be this...the band is right near the baby's hand. He plays w/it but it does not bother him, nor does he get 'stuck'. During labor, contractions squeeze the baby down and then out. There is a chance that he could grab onto the band (he would be fine) and break it. A breakage in placental tissue would result in hemorrhage and could be potentially deadly for me, which is something that no one wants. My ob said that she was going to call the specialist and reveal what she found as well as send over the reports from my scan today. The baby was 5oz 19 days ago and yesterday, he doubled his weight and was 10oz so he's growing just fine.



They also read the report from the specialist to me and what he told me and what he reported were different. He told me that I had uterine scar tissue...the report states, possible amniotic banding syndrome OR possible scar tissue.




I'm really glad that I finally have an answer that actually makes sense. I go to the specialist nov1 and back to the ob in 3 weeks. I left there with such a sense of relief. I really felt like a boulder had been lifted off of me.

20w (sorry for the crappy phone pic, I haven't uploaded all of my sessions from this weekend yet)!

Pumpkin Patch

We met some friends at the pumpkin patch on Tuesday. While it was fun, I realized just how out of control my kids are. They act like they are kept cooped up and when they are 'released' they go nuts. I mean, running constantly, jumping like bunnies and just being insane. You can add not listening to that. Conner does better than Parker but it's hard on me. I have decided that I'm buying an umbrella stroller (and not a cheap-y one but not a 150+ one either) and I'm going to start using it to confine them when they don't listen. The new baby will need to like one too so it's a win, win. Anyway, I did snap a few photos and one of the friends we met is another photographer and snapped some too.

She's FAB and if you're in Atlanta and don't like my work, check out her website. You won't regret it! Here are the few she took. For the image of just me, she called me a princess. haha!

Here are my crazy boys. I didn't even bother editing all of them :) It was fun and everyone was happy and stayed that way.

So What Wednesday

This week I'm saying so what to

So what that this week well be short. I don't have time to do a long one. whatever.

I'm embarassed at my kids' behavior. They are so crazy and insane all the time. I do not know what to do about it.

I've gained more than a pound a week during this pregnancy so far. I hate it but...I'm not really eating everything I see.

We went to the pumpkin patch yesterday w/another photographer. she got a pic of my HUGE belly. I don't even care. Put that shit on FB and tag me. :)

The kids are going to the school's pumpkin patch today. I got them dressed and P got cha-cha mok (chocolate milk) on his. I took it off, scrubbed the milk off and threw it in the dryer. He's wearing it today.

I joined a new gym yesterday. It's way cheaper...it's not open yet. My YMCA membership expires 12/1 and this one opens mid-late Nov so we're good there.

Happy Wednesday, peeps. have a great hump day (and I hate that expression, hump day, stupid)

Quiet moments

It's not very often that my house has any quiet moments. Yesterday, Parker was napping and Conner had brought his train stuff up from the basement playroom. I was folding clothes and he was playing. When I realized how he was playing, I grabbed the camera.

And because it's Tuesday, that means a new week on my pregnancy ticker. Next week, I am officially half way. I wish I had something to report but I don't...19w belly

October 15

Today is October 15;It’s Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day.

 I don't speak of my miscarriage very often and honesty, it is something that I have tried very hard to not let define me as a person. Did it change me, yes; how could it not? However, without that loss, I would not have the two kids I do now. It was a horrible time for me; people, FAMILY members, said some really horrible things to me. My husband was wonderful though the whole thing. It was right before Christmas. We were so excited to see our baby on the ultrasound machine; I was 9.5 weeks and had no complications (spotting) to indicate that anything was wrong. Then we get that news...no heartbeat and baby measuring 3 weeks behind. devastating. The only thing I regret about the whole thing was not getting an additional ultrasound. It probably would not have mattered or changed the outcome but that was always in the back of my mind.I chose, what I thought, the easy way. Take a pill and it would be over. Mistake. I wound up missing more work 10 days later to have a d&c done. The D&C...easy; that was the easiest part. For Christmas that year, I received maternity clothes....from people who knew what had happened. like I really wanted them. It sucked. It's the reason I started this blog and I have 2 beautiful healthy boys; for that I'm thankful. 

On this day, at 7 p.m. your time, grieving families light a candle for their babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early perinatal death for one hour. As each time zone extinguishes their candles, the next one will light theirs, creating the continuous Wave of Light across the world. Please light a candle tonight for the many many families that have experienced a miscarriage, still born or infant loss.

Friday Five

This week's 5..Five things that annoy the snot out of me (becuase I'm in a mood. Neither kid has slept in 2 nights which means I haven't either).

• Kids waking up at all hours of the night. I don't mind babies waking up b/c they really probably are hungry or whatever but a 2 and almost 4 year old waking up and yelling....mmmmoooommmmyyyy is NOT fun. 
• Having kids that don't sleep get up before day light is even outside. Conner even asked why it was dark if it was morning....um, b/c you are up way too early dude. 
• Kids that bounce off the walls constantly and are grounchy and tired. The same kids won't nap. 
• Being late and getting behind the slowest car is GA. It always happens. I get in the car 45seconds late and if there's not real traffic, I'm not really late but then there's that one car...
• Opening the fridge to get coffee creamer and realizing I'm out of my fav. I still have some but it's not the same. I get one cup of coffee...I want to enjoy it not just like it. 

There's my grouchy rants/five. What are yours? Link up and let me know :)