Just what I wanted to see today...

I had a great day today. The kids were funny and overall I really feel great! One of the lunchroom ladies even asked me when I would start showing and I was OK with that. I just simply smiled and said, "I miscarried". I was really really OK.

I got home. In the mailbox, staring at me was a baby magazine with big bold blue letters, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE PREGNANT! Um...yeah, not anymore. Great. Thanks for the magazine. I didn't order it, it just came. Along with that, my insurance benefits. I will actually owe money for my loss. According to BCBS, it's because I had pregnancy complications. So, pretty much if everything goes well, they cover it ALL. God forbid that something go wrong because in the midst of a great day, you'll get a statement and it will tell you that you now owe money for something that you did not even want to happen. It's not like I wanted to terminate my preganacy. I would give ANYTHING to have seen my baby's heartbeat and known that everything was great. I would LOVE to have had morning sickness to the fullest effect and have a cute little bump. I want the weight gain and the sore boobs. I want people to touch my growing bump (well, not really). I want to have weird food cravings and completely outgrow pre-pregnancy clothes. Thanks to the baby magazine my insurance company my good day turned sour...Tomorrow is a new day.