3rd day of a new year

To start off let me just say that 2007 was amazing and heartbreaking at the same time. It made me a (in the following order) a graduate, a wife, a teacher and almost a mom. Note, I said almost. It also made me weak, and yet very strong.

Being a graduate, wife and teacher have really given me great joy! I adore my husband and my career...the mom part, well that just left me broken hearted. November 8, I decided to pee on a stick (home pregnancy test) and I thought I saw two lines. DH and I wrote it off as not being dark enough=not pregnant...phew. A few days later, I decided to try again. Sure enough, two very visible lines appeared. I think I shook ALL day long. It was a total shock. Fast forward one month. First u/s...we sure were excited, until we learned that our baby did not have a heart beat. The hell officially began. Losing something so personal like an unborn child is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me. The hurt and pain is completely indescribable. I feel so defective, yet I have so much hope. Hope for happiness, the future, and God's will on our lives; for this is not just about me.

Here's to a great 2008, lots of baby dancing to lead to lots morning sickness, exhaustion, baby weight gain and great announcements all around!