A Glimpse

*Disclaimer*I'm not asking working moms or even other stay at home moms to feel sorry for me at all. That's not what I'm going for. I'm just trying to shed some light on the "glamorous" life of staying at home. It's far from glamorous. It's hard, exhausting, frustrating and challenging. Moms have enough challenges, working or sah so please don't judge, be jealous or compare. Take what you have, be thankful and live it up, good moments and bad.

I have friends that work outside the home, inside the home and those like me who stay home to be primary caregivers to their children. While I am thrilled to be able to stay at home with my boys and I wouldn't have it any other way (or I'd go back to work) I will say that being a stay at home mom is hard. Not that being a working mom isn't; I can't speak from that point of view. As a stay at home mom, I can assure you that I am not refreshed, stylish, sane or fit. My house is never all the way clean, my laundry never all finished and put away. I'm sure you are wondering why...well, I have 2 small kids that need my attention constantly. I always have toys everywhere and it's not because I refuse to pick them up, it's because the boys take them out over and over. I am responsible for the care of everyone else in our house, including the dog. I do all of the shopping, all of the bill paying, all of the cleaning, all of the preparing of foods, all of the baths, all of the laundry, all of the everything. I prepare meals for 4 people every day. I choose to make Parker's baby food. It saves us money. I am the one that worries about money and how we will pay which bill when. I never, ever get a break. I ask for them all the time and I am told that they can watch one kid or just a simple, "I can't". I actually had a doctor's appointment this morning. I asked for help and I was told that the person would only watch one child. I NEED someone to watch both of them. It's a drs appt not something fun. So, I rescheduled for next week and I'm praying I can find a sitter. Otherwise, I'll have to reschedule again. It's very hard asking for help and constantly being rejected. I have a gym membership but by the time we are all ready to go and the kids have both been fed, Parker is demanding a nap. Yes, he will sleep in the car but leaving him in the gym nursery will surely wake him up and then his nap will be 25 minutes. That leaves me with a cranky baby. Josh is gone all.the.time. He works 12-14 hours a day six days a week. He leaves by 6:30 in the morning (before either kid wakes up) and doesn't get home until 7, and that's the earliest most days. That is a very long day for me. It leaves me feeling very much like a single parent most days. Yes, he comes home but by the time he gets here both kids have had dinner and Parker is ready for bed. And, I'm tired. Parker gets up 3-4 times every night and he is awake around 6am. Conner doesn't nap anymore so I don't get any quiet time at all. Conner doesn't go to bed until around 9 or so every night and by then, I am completely exhausted, physically, emotionally. Just done. But I'm not because I have to clean the kitchen, set the coffee maker, take a shower (showers in my house don't happen unless the kids are asleep) and get myself ready for bed. I typically don't get into bed until after 10. Parker is up by 11, then 1, then 4 and then 6. Sure, I stay home and don't have to "work" but I can not rest. I have a very active 2 year old and a 6 month old that is crawling and getting into everything.