Two Weeks

Two weeks ago, God gave us sweet little Parker. Boy, do we just love him. Parker had his 2 week check up yesterday and it was the first time I have taken both kids somewhere. It really wasn't that bad. I think that Conner just knows when he needs to be a good boy; he amazes me. Back to Parker...he weighs 8lbs 7oz!!! That's a whole pound above his birth weight. Can you say chunky monkey? The pedi says he's doing fabulous. I haven't really shared Conner's regression here but he has virtually stopped sleeping. I mentioned this to the pedi and she told me that he was just responding to the change in his little life. She told me to be patient with him and to spend as much time with just Conner as I can. I've been making much more of an effort to take Parker out of the room when he's sleeping so that it's just Conner and I. She said that he feels like since the baby has come maybe Mommy doesn't love him as much (and evidently that is normal and his response to the baby is too). I literally started crying and once those flood gates opened, they never closed back.

He's my chunky monkey at 2 weeks

Everyone wants to know how I'm doing. I say that I'm tired but fine. That's not 100% true. It's been a little rough for me. The mommy guilt is almost unbearable at times. I don't hold Parker enough b/c I have Conner and I don't spend as much time w/Conner b/c I have Parker. We haven't been to playgroup or the park or done anything fun (outside of our home) and it just makes me feel like such a crappy mom. We have had company and it's been great because Conner is constantly entertained but that doesn't help with the guilt. I wonder how I'll handle these two kids when everyone goes home. Will I be able to successfully swim or will I just sink and feel like I'm drowning? I don't know; I honestly don't. I do know that I don't want to compromise Parker's immune system so that Conner can go out and live the same life he had before. The Pedi doesn't want me to do that either. I want to have people come here to play for a little while before we actually venture out where all the germs live. I won't lie, having 2 babies is hard. Maybe once I'm allowed to exercise I'll feel better. Time will tell.