38w, 52 week project.

How is it possible that I am 38w? I have one week left. ONE. that's it and then we are a party of 5. Crazy.

I had my weekly ultrasound and BPP on Monday. As usual, baby did great on the bpp but what I was more concerned with is his growth. well, he did it. he grew! He grew back up to 18% so he's still pretty little but we are out of the danger zone with his growth. It is such a relief that I don't have to worry. For the first time this pregnancy I don't have to worry. Awesome. I won't lie though, Josh and I were both prepared to deliver on Monday so that was kind of a let down but we are both thrilled that the baby is doing better in the womb.

I am swollen everywhere. My feet and hands hurt, my belly hurts and I don't sleep much, but I haven't really slept this entire pregnancy so...I will admit that it is nice to know that next week, we're having a baby. I may or may not go into labor between now and then and if I don't, I'll still have a baby next week. 8am. March 6. Little dude will be evicted.

I've been trying to keep up with the house and laundry but it's virtually impossible with the kids tearing through the toys as fast as I put them away. Anyone with toddlers knows that they can't play with just one toy, they have to play with all of them.

I have still been keeping up with the 52 weeks project that I started...imagine that!

38w

Photos from my 52 weeks...

Playing with Papa

 Harley being Harley while we make Valentines.

 This one does not slow down...even to wipe his nose.

Fab Friday

When I saw Shannon mention Fab Friday I thought that I should do 2 posts today. It has been a hard week for me (ear infection, flu, that NST yeserday, Parker getting in trouble at school, now he's sick too) so I decided that I would focus on the good things that happened this week. There's always good and sometimes it's harder to find the good when the 'bad' is easier to see.




Here are some Fabs that happened this week.

Monday after my BPP, my future SIL and I went and had some girl time at the nail salon. My nails look and feel much better and it was FUN.

Wednesday, Conner had his Valentine Party at school. It was so cute.

Yesterday was valentines day, I woke up to flowers and a balloon; Josh was sneaky. My ILs took the boys to the circus so I got a little break before my appt. Josh got home and cooked dinner and had cards for me from the boys and him. It's so great knowing that the man I chose is truly my partner, my real bff; we're a team and a really good one. He has been so great this week with me being sick.

Conner is constantly telling us "I love you". It's awesome. Parker, on the other hand...well...he will say it if you ask him to or if you say it first but the other day he asked me to take him to go potty. After I took him, he wrapped those little arms around my neck and said, 'mommy, i love you'. I died. right there.

It's nice to reflect on the good things that are happening b/c there is always at least one and that's all I really need to be reminded that life truly IS good. We are blessed...beyond measure.

Friday Letters

I haven't participated in a Friday Letters before but I have a lot of random on my mind so why not?




 Dear New Baby: You are going to give mommy a breakdown. I probably need it anyway but I'd rather it be about something stupid and not about you. We can't wait to meet you and bring you home.

Dear Parker: I love you. You are precious. Your fits are the opposite of precious. Yes, you are 2 but screaming everytime I tell you what you don't want to hear is not going to work for me.

Dear Josh: you are amazing. I have no complaints.

Dear Mail person: you suck. You left a notice in my box, when I was HOME b/c the dog was outside. Grow some balls and deliver a package...you know, do your job. oh and don't scratch out the location of the PO so that I can't go pick it up.

Dear Germs: get out of my house.

Dear Contractions: you are not doing anything to make me go into labor and baby boy is breech so just go away.

Week 36...

This week marked the start of weekly BPPs. On Mondays, I will have an ultrasound and Thursdays I have NSTs. Monday this baby did great; he scored 8 out of 8; Mama left happy. Tuesday night, I started feeling crappy. I wound up with a fever so I called the ob, since I was not sure of the protocol. I should have known...tylenol and fluids, go in the next day. That's what I did. I have an ear infection and she gave me tamiflu as a preventative. I do not have the flu (or mono or any other illness she tested for) but my white count was high, indicating infection (I'm assuming ear). Today was the NST. I'd love to say that I was in and out but I just can't. Basically, the NST measures fetal heart rate, contractions and movement. It determines neurological well being (which I did not know but my ob told me this today). The start of the 'test' determines the baseline heart rate (baby's was 135). They like to see accels in heart rate of 15+, so over 150 and they want 2 of these in 20 mins. Seems easy right? Well, unless you are MY kid then it is hard. It took this kid an HOUR (and the threat of another bpp today) to have 2 in 20 min. Then he had 3 in 10 min. Little stinker. We talked more about the cesarian. I'm starting to feel much better about all of it. Josh will be with me when I get the epidural; its not the same epi meds that I received for Parker's birth and I'll feel pressure but no hot or cold. It will not wear off for 10-12 hours (which sucks) but after it does, they will get me out of bed, which I want. If I make it to March 6, the surgery will be scheduled for 8am, meaning I will get to the hospital at 5:30. Part of me hopes to make it to the scheduled date and another part doesn't want to be pregnant for that long...and it's only 3 more weeks so not long at all.

I asked her about his growth as well. She said to really get good growth progression you need 4 weeks of scans. I don't have that. I will have 2 weeks on Monday. If for some reason some part of him is growing and another part is not, they will do the surgery early. If he's just still all over little, they will leave him alone.I guess I'll pack my bag this weekend and finish the baby room/clothes?


For good measure: 36w.

35 weeks, sick kids and some answers...

This week, I'm 35 weeks. That's only 5 weeks until my due date...what?! That kind of snuck up on me. The end of last week was a doozie for my boys. They both had a fever virus; Parker was worse than Conner. At one point his temp reached just under 103 and that's something that no mama really wants to see or deal with. After a dr visit determining he had only a virus (what a waste of time), we just left him alone to recover. Saturday night, he slept for 16 hours. HOURS. crazy. Sunday, the fever was just low grade and he was all better.

I had my 35w appt today. It included an ultrasound and the group B strep test. If we would have done the ultrasound first, the strep test would not have been necessary. A few things about baby no name...he's breech. Yes, that's his head that I have been pushing on when it hurts. Sorry, little dude, I thought it was your butt. He is butt down, legs over his head and still a boy. I had her check. The placentas...still there...the band....still there. The only 'difference' is that he is now on both sides of the band instead of just hanging out on one side. Both of these things point to a c-section. I signed up for a tubal while I scheduled the surgery. He is measuring small. We don't know if he's just going to be small or if there is a true growth restriction. I will have weekly ultrasounds as well as non-stress tests until he is born. I still haven't gained any weight (even though I have been eating lots of pb and ice cream, sometimes together, sometimes alone) and my belly is still measuring the same as it was last week. Overall, he is measuring just over a week behind but looks good otherwise and he has lots of hair.

I will be honest. I am terrified. I do not want a c-section. I know it's best and that's what's important but it just sounds crappy.

35w.

Update

Today, I had my 34 week appt. For some reason I saw the nurse practitioner (and I'm only supposed to see OBs but whatever). I lost a half pound in 2 weeks and my belly is measuring 2 weeks behind/small. I go back next week for a growth ultrasound. I'd be lying if I sat here and said that I wasn't worried. I want to throw up. I'm over it though. I'm over having something else to think about/worry over after every appt. I have even been eating more junk food to try to gain weight. I know that if this baby really isn't growing, there's nothing I can do. As I was reading about Intrauterine growth restriction, one of the 'causes' is twins. I know that I do not have 2 babies in there but I do have 2 placentas from a twin pregnancy so maybe this guy is just smaller b/c of that? I really have no idea and I want to put myself in a bubble and be left alone until someone can hand me my healthy baby. I'm just over it.

I also asked about permanent birth control and if I do wind up with a c-section, they will tie my tubes during that surgery; I can still have a tubal but not until 6 weeks postpartum and no thanks. I'm not doing 2 recoveries. I know that some people will think I am crazy for even considering permanent bc at this point but let's face it; we're going to have 3 kids. Blessed beyond measure.

That's my quick update. If you can, please say a prayer for us. We could use it.

Gotta go get the boys from school :)

A little non-update...

I haven't really updated about my pregnancy because there's nothing really to update. I haven't had an ultrasound in almost a month but I think I get one next week? I'm supposed to find out if a c-section will be necessary or not next week. I'm really hoping not but if it's the best thing then I'll do it. They will also be checking for growth when I go in this week. Last appt, I had not gained any weight in almost a month and my belly was measuring small so she made a comment that 'we'd have to keep an eye on that'. I've gained my fair share this time and I'm trying not to worry about that. They will be doing the group B strep test and I figure while they are going to violate me, I'm asking for a cervix check. I want to know if all of these nights of contractions are doing anything. If they are not, I will be scrubbing my floors Wed afternoon! If they are I'll just continue to take it easy until 37w, then it's on; I'll scrub and do whatever I want! I haven't been going to the gym b/c of the contractions. I don't feel like it's the smartest thing I could do so I don't go. I miss it. I miss my patience, the stress I release when I work out. Can't wait to get back to it.

Here's my belly at 34 weeks

The kids are good; busy boys but good. Parker is potty trained, it's SO nice. I was impressed with how quickly he was trained. I still make him wear pull ups to bed but he wakes up dry. I'm just not that brave yet.

I still have so much to do. We have no name, baby's room isn't ready and I've only gone through about a third of the baby clothes. I need to finish that and wash them....they have been boxed up for 2 years. I can't do any of it until the closet in the boys' room is done and that won't get done until Josh is home for a full weekend...who knows when that will happen.When the room is done, I'll take a pic...it's just Parker's set up for a new baby. I did buy a new crib sheet..does that count for something? I also needed a swing and ordered one the other day.

For my week for of my 52 weeks, I actually have 2 photos. I wanted to use the one of Conner but it's not completely in focus so I have one of Parker's feet too. Pretty cute.

weekly project

Last year, I tried really hard to do a 365 project and failed miserably. This year I'm giving it another go but doing a 52...that's one photo a week and I'm participating in a photography group to keep me accountable. I present to you week 1-3.

 This is Spiky; he's our new pet and we are smitten with him.

 

Parker LOVES all things pirates.

 

 They played pirates for about an hour; I love that I can see both boys' faces and Josh is still in the photo too.

Aye, Bath Matey

I have been stalking Parker to try to get photos of him being a pirate, which he is all.the.time. Every time he sees me w/the camera, he stops and gives me a smirk. He decided he was going to bring 2 of his pirate toys into the bath tub and at first, I was hesitant since one makes noise...then I grabbed the camera and told him yes. bring them. have fun! It was SO worth it and the spy glass didn't work for about an hour but it's fine now.

 This is his pirate face.

My Sweet Boy

The other day, Josh was headed to the store to get batteries for one of Conner's race car toys and Conner decided he was going with him. When they got home, they had some goodies for me and my boy was SO proud to give them to me. I gave him a big hug and told him thank you and when I told Josh thank you that boy cocked his head to the side, pointed his finger at me and told me "mommy, it was all my idea, it was not daddy's idea. You don't have to tell Daddy thank you". love him.